…surveyed about 1,000 mothers in their 30s and 40s nationwide and interviewed about 100 for their book. They found that the women broadly fell into two categories: “never enoughs” and “good enoughs.”

Never-enough women felt they had to be the best at everything and often agreed with the sentiment that “I need to be a superstar even if it kills me.”

As a recipe for self-loathing, that’s hard to beat. One of Tugend’s blog readers, Fritz Ziegler, moreover, noticed the Catch-22 of self-acceptance:

… Acceptance includes accepting that sometimes we act in perfectionistic ways about self-improvement, i.e., accepting that we aren’t accepting enough. This can also be said as: Complaining about not being accepting enough is just another version of perfectionism. It’s all so recursive!

Yes, Fritz; it is. You’re catching on.
 

c.216p. ISBN 978-1-59580-029-9. pap. $12.95. HUMOR

Phillips, who has written for publications ranging from the National Lampoon to Newsweek International, here presents-to quote the book’s promotional material-”the essential primer on how best to despise yourself!” This assessment isn’t far off: Phillips has written a gleefully sardonic guide to self-condemnation and disapproval that offers up wisdom in bite-size morsels. Short chapters are broken up with quizzes, “questions from the floor,” tips, and inspiration boxes.

Although the material isn’t groundbreaking-Phillips mentions self-loathing through abuse of food, bad love relationships, or demeaning family dynamics-the deftness with which she ties it all together makes this a delightful read. The sections on meta-self-loathing and spiritual self-loathing add an unexpected bit of flavor as well. Phillips is a self-described media tramp, and, as such, many of her examples will best resonate with those who follow celebrity news. This smart, accessible title-good for sit-down comic reading and with outstanding sound-bite potential-will entertain audiences from precocious high schoolers to retirees. A good choice for all public collections; academic libraries may also wish to consider.

-Audrey Snowden, Cleveland P.L.