Self-Loathing for Beginners

Books need friends, just like lonely rock stars, mathematical geniuses and losers do. Maybe more. Stars, geniuses and losers can all swap roles if they get bored, but a book lives and dies a book, and without friends books now die rather quickly.

To be this book’s friend, don’t be shy:

  1. Quote from it (with attribution),
  2. Ask your bookstore to carry it,
  3. Give it to self-loathing and militantly happy friends alike, and
  4. Post encouraging reviews of it on blogs and booksellers’ websites.

To be this book’s friend-with-privileges:

  1. Turn it face up (or out) in bookstores if all they’re showing is the spine.
  2. Leave it the bathroom of an institution devoted to intermittent self-loathing, like a university or barracks.
  3. Wear its insignia proudly on a product from our store.

To be this book’s best best friend:

  1. Become a celebrity and say it’s your favorite
  2. Get it on Oprah.
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